Metal Gear Toast: Guns of the Alicorns
by Paco Nyan Cat
Summary: Ponytoast and the Equestrian Islands Government have had it with the tyranny of Alicorn Applebloom and the rest of the Alicorn crusaders. Read as Toast is in a race against the time to extinguish the abomination, but soon after his own creation will turn on him...


MLP has changed. It's no longer about a good plot, ideologies or morals. It's an endless series of proxy battles, carried out by alicorns and machines. MLP, and its consumption of life, has become a well-oiled machine. MLP has changed. ID tagged bronies wear ID tagged shirts, use ID tagged merch. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilities. Genetic control. Information control. Emotion control. Spaghetti control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control. MLP has changed. The age of deterrence has become the age of control. All in the name of doing what is best for the fandom. And he who controls the show, controls history. MLP has changed. When Hasbro is under total control, War... becomes routine.  
~-Act 0: Prologue-~ Toast was sitting at his desk, starting his True Equestrian Radio show. He noticed there was only one listener, and thought it was impossible. There was also only one in the queue.  
Where is everypony? Can anyone hear me? Nobody responded, the chat was desolate of its usual spamming. Not only that, but when he looked at his Skype, Toast was the only one online.  
Well, there is no one else here, except you 202, so 202 you re on the horn, who is best pony? There was a brief silence before it responded Foxtrot Hotel Zul 7 32 3 5 6 65 664 3 0 9 Said a monotone strong male voice, almost as if it was a robot, it continued naming out the numbers.  
Goddamn it, I gave YOU time on MY show to talk about ponies, not some capitalist carrotbowl numbers. After a few minutes of rambling to himself, he realized still no one was listening in other than that capitalist carrot bowl bot, so he ended the show. He thought to himself, why no one would be calling in, maybe there is something big happening Before he could finish his thought, his phone started ringing. The number was a Private Caller; he thought it was a telemarketer, so he let it go to message.  
O hai Toast, we found it, we require your assistance to destroy it once and for all... Toast was horrified, the thing that has been haunting him for a whole year has came back. He packed his bags, got his equipment, and drove to the airport. He used his donation money from the show to buy a ticket to the Island nation, only known as Equestria; a big island chain bought by a few bronies, and was converted into a country exclusive to bronies.  
During the flight, he noticed someone on the other side of the row; the person has not moved the whole flight. Toast knew something was wrong; he got up to see if the man was alright.  
Sir, are you alright? As Toast asked the question, he noticed something weird, there was a red reflection coming out from inside the hoodie. Before he could even react, a tripedal machine latched on to his face.  
Toast took out his can, and hit the robot as hard as he could and knocked it off of him, but more started pouring out of the air ducts.  
METAL GEAR!? He started running, the other people were panicking running everywhere as well. Toast knew what needed to be done, he ran to the pilot s cockpit.  
The pilot was in there was blaring out nonsense.  
Hey, I need you to open the door, I can help. Said Toast The door opened, but on the other side was someone he has not seen in a long time.  
Tooaasst, how s it going. Said Super Kami Guru BUT, YOU RE DEAD, HOW ARE YOU HERE?!

When you shot me, I went into cardiac arrest and died, but that was not the end, for me, I had collected all 9 dragonballs and absorbed there energy when I died, effectively not only reviving me, but making me a god, thus I AM THE REAL SUPER SAND. Are you here to kill me? Toast did not know what to feel.  
No, of course not said the Guru I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU! Before Toast could respond pulled toast to the closest exit, Kami gave him a Parachute and pushed him out, Super Kami Guru followed behind, he was not falling he was flying.  
Toast glided down to the ground, leaving a plummeting airplane in his wake.  
Welp said the Toast in an I Don t Give a Fuck Kind of way The Colonel was down there waiting for them.  
O hai Toast and Kami said the Colonel.  
Hello Colonel. Said ze Toast Haaiiii te Kami said.  
Ha ha, I told you before, you can call me Tommy, no need to be so uptight. Said Colonel Wiseau.  
Well anyway Tommy, my plane was destroyed by METAL GEAR. Said le Toast What a story, Toast Toast and Kami jumped into the Jeep. They drove to the Military Base. Tommy, Toast, and Super Kami Guru walked into to the The Room .  
-~Mission Briefing~-  
Ok Toast, here is what happen, after end of season 11; Alicorn Applebloom took power over the Middle East. Your job is to infiltrate their main base in Syria, and kill Applebloom before she gets any more powerful. Explained Wiseau

Got it said Toast Toast went to the armory to get ready for the upcoming mission, Tommy and Super Kami Guru were still in The Room

Uhm, Colonel?

O hai, Cpl. Fluttershy, wat do you have to report? asked Tommy

Uhm, I don t know, uhm, I would have to say, that Flutters said quizzically looking at the monitors.

She gasped and yelled ThereHasBeenASecurityBreach.

On the monitors, was shown a whole army of Apple bloom s soldiers.  
YOU RE TEARING ME APART FLUTTERSHY Inside the Armory Toast was startled by the alarm, he got what he needed and left. He looked outside the armory and saw Super Kami Guru get shot out of the sky. He ran behind a barrel and hid. But, they were approaching at a faster rate; he had to find a better place. Without thinking he lifted the barrel and hid under it a single lone soldier wandered near the barrel, so Toast took advantage of the opportunity and slit the man s throat. He put on the uniform and acted as if he was one of them. He walked up to the fallen body of Super Kami Guru.

Super Kami Guru, are you alright?!

OF COURSE, I AM, I was just shot out of the air during a Spirit Bomb.

Well you look fine to me, I will send for a medic. And Toast did as he said

After making sure Super Kami Guru was fine, he walked toward one of the squads, and followed them to a harrier; thankfully Toast was skillful in the flying of harriers. He took out two P90s and shot the two squad members next to him then shot the one in front and back.  
As he was getting in the Chopper, some soldier came in from behind and aimed the gun towards Toast s head.

Put your weapon s down! Now! said the young soldier, anxiously.

Toast did as he was told

You did not even take the safety off, rookie. Said Toast

When the rookie looked to see if his safety was on Toast had already disarmed him. He was on the ground begging for mercy.

How did you survive ten years? Get out of here or die. Said Toast The Rookie ran out of view as fast as he could.  
Toast entered the Harrier once again, and started it up; at the last minute Super Kami Guru got on, and was ready to go. 


End file.
